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12-31-03 Since no website is worth a crap without lots of gratuitous photos, in my infinite wisdom
I have decided to provide all of my valued bandwidth hogs (a.k.a "the world-wide masses") with
a pictorial biography of the mind-blowing, brain-numbing phenomenon that is my life.
Since I am a college student, I am sharing an apartment with several roommates and some friends that
may or may not live here...I'm not sure. Here are some
pictures of our apartment. I know you're thinking, "Did he clean the apartment before taking these pictures?"
The answer is: vigorously! Here's a candid pic of my
roommate, Jeremiah, at his computer, at which pants are optional. I'm pretty sure he's looking at some illegal porn
while dreaming of mouthifying some wang. Now before you have to gouge your eyeballs out with a fork, let's move on to
a picture of a slightly saner roommate, Tony. He seems to be doing an excellent
impersonation of Jeremiah, much to Jeremiah's dismay. Here's another picture of
Tony, extolling the virtues of
Satanism in our kitchen; I'm pretty sure he's talking to the poster of John Belushi. Mr.
Belushi later denied all knowledge of said conversation.
Next up is my roommate Jenny, who is my sister, Tony's fiance and Jeremiah's nemesis. I'm
not going to say anything degrading or insulting about Jenny, because she is the brains behind this website. Thank you,
Jenny! Next up is my friend Robert, who drank all our booze and was holding the camera upside down;
the two incidents may be related. And the peice de resistance is our friend (and Tony's little brother) Adam, proudly passed out next to his pile
of puked up Chinese noodles. We're not sure if this picture was taken before or after he filled our cat-box with his own
urine. Milner the Defiler is just one of our destructive cats. Why do we call him the defiler?
Because of the horrible stench that emenates from the litter box after he defiles it. Annabelle is my arch-enemy; we have a mutual
hate-hate relationship. And here is a picture of Rabies, A.K.A. "The Atomic Kitten," known as such
because he has the destructive power of a thousand conventional kittens. He is also referred to as "contra-kitty," because
we are only supposed to have two cats here. Would you like a kitten? |